There are many things that don’t make sense about the Christian concept of Heaven — or at least the popularized version of it. And I wish religious people could give me a clear answer on the following questions because I don’t think they’ve thought this through.
– When we’re up there, are we frozen at a certain age? I imagine old people wish they could be back in their younger bodies. Do they get that option?
– What about babies who die? Do they remain babies in Heaven, or are they some older, wiser, talkative versions of themselves?
– If you’re a parent who tragically lost a baby, wouldn’t you want to see your baby in heaven instead of some 20-year-old version of that baby you never knew?
– What about unborn children? Christians say they’ve lived, which is why we shouldn’t abort them, but they also don’t think those fetuses are going to be punished with Hell for their mother’s decision. So is Heaven just littered with the remains of partially formed babies?
– Does jealousy exist in Heaven? Because jealousy develops when people are better than you or have more things than you… but the only way to avoid that is to make everybody the same in Heaven. They say “variety is the spice of life” but it sounds like uniformity is the norm in Heaven, which sounds really boring.
– What do people eat in Heaven? Can you be a carnivore? Because eating meat would still require the death of animals… and where would those animals come from? The places around you, I assume. So if I have this right, these animals died, then went to Heaven, only to be slaughtered again to provide food for hungry angels.
– What about bugs? Do I have to deal with spiders on my cloud?
– If I have a disability, do I still have it after I die? Can I get out of my wheelchair in Heaven? And what if I embraced it? There are deaf people who don’t want cochlear implants. Does God fix their hearing against their will?
– What if the person who killed me accepted Jesus and made it to Heaven. Would I run into that person?
– What if I really don’t want to see certain family members again in the afterlife? We always talk about how we’ll be reunited with our loved ones after death… but I can think of a few people I don’t want to see ever again, especially for eternity.
– Speaking of loved ones, what if someone I loved didn’t accept Christ? They’d go to Hell. But how happy could I be in Heaven if someone I loved was burning forever? Or would I just forget about that person?
– Do people have sex in Heaven? Can they? Do they get privacy?
– What if you’re a guy who died at an old age? Does your dick work again?
– If Islamic terrorists say you get 72 virgins in heaven, what happens when martyrs run out of them? Can they replenish their stash of virgins? And honestly, wouldn’t they want to be with 72 people who know what they’re doing? Or just one?
– And wouldn’t Heaven for those terrorists really be Hell for those virgins?
– Where do we live? Do I get a house? Is it a mansion?
– How do I go to sleep? Do people even get tired in Heaven?
– Do I finally get to drive a Tesla? Does Heaven have roads?
– Are we smarter in Heaven? Will I finally be able to understand things I never figured out on Earth? Will I be able to play the piano? Can I finally prove things that are elusive to the best mathematicians?
– What’s the weather like? Because when I visit my parents, we can’t even agree on what the thermostat to be at. So is there temperature control? Is it individualized?
– Would we be happy all the time? Because that could get really old after a while. Have you ever eaten pizza when you’re really hungry? It’s great for the first slices but then it starts to make you sick. And if you keep going you won’t like it. You need a break. Happiness is great, but that’s partly because we all get sad sometimes. It makes the good times that much more memorable.
– Do we have to go to church in Heaven? If I’m there, it’s presumably because God actually exists, but then are we supposed to worship Him for all eternity? That doesn’t sound like a good time. You thought the church was boring now? Wait till the services last literally forever.
– Do I have to spend eternity around other Christians who can’t stop talking about God? Because I try to avoid that now.
Thanks to our friendly atheist, Hemant Mehta
Reblog by Savalan Ghodsi
